Your house should be your sanctuary

Updated: Feb 15, 2019

Your house should be a place where you (if you live alone), or you and your family can be happy and feel relaxed. It should accommodate you, not your guests, not your extended family, not your "friends"

I have been in many houses, some of them are beautiful but to be honest the houses that I love going are the ones where you can feel the love and you can see that the house has been "lived"

What I mean by that is the type of houses that have authentic people in them, they love who they are, they know what they need and they invite you to their space. They are not trying to impress you, they are not trying to show off, they are people who know who they are and show it all over their house.

I can certainly admire a wonderful house, that is pristine, professionally decorated, and has all the new trends of colors and furniture. As long as the family or the person living there really loves her, his, their space. As long as that house functions as a true sanctuary then it works. If it's that same house but the people in it is unhappy, if the kids living there can't play because they would ruin the couch or the rug, or if they can only play in their rooms and then they have to clean and rub and scrub until it looks like nobody lives there...

I just find that sad. I find that a waste of a house.

A house in my opinion should be a place where you can be creative, and sometimes that equals messy. If you are painting a portrait you can't be pushed into cleaning and disappearing everything after a couple of hours. A painting takes time, so you need to leave your "mess" there until you finish.

“Family A little bit of crazy, a little bit of loud & a whole lot of love”

We want our kids to be creative, proactive, to try new things, to learn new things, to find a hobby, be productive... so, for that reason we need to let them live their house, they sometimes need to make messes, they need to make experiments, they need to explore and they need to feel our support.

And by that I don't mean that we have to be OK with living in a pigsty, life after all is about balance. So yes, after having enough time exploring and experimenting and learning, all the family has to help with the house chores, but this can be done in a fun way. Putting some good energetic music on and all the family can help keep this special place called home nice and clean.

I'm just saying it's not good to obsess about having a perfectly clean house 100% of the time. It's definitely not nice to live in a house that you are afraid to move, that you can't even step on the grass, that it's full of stuff that is so delicate that you have to sort of waddle through the place.

I have met people that live for the guests and extended family, they superficially live in their own house. They buy furniture just to accommodate other people, what other people would like, they have no freedom in their own house. This... is the true mess!

You are not managing a hotel or a Bed and Breakfast, (if you are then this is not the right article for you). A family needs to buy the stuff they like, stuff they are actually going to use and if other people don't like it oh well! it's not a big deal.

I respect the fact that we have different likes and dislikes and I don't care if people don't approve of my space. I respect their right to dislike it, but I'm not willing to change to accommodate them.

We as a family invite people to OUR space, and that is our right. We have the right to live and decorate the way we want and be messy sometimes and be free.

Let's say it's a Saturday morning and we have the plan as a family to take some time to clean our mess, but then it turns out it's an absolutely gorgeous sunny day and as we know, there are not many gorgeous sunny days in the year, so we change our plans and we go out.

We can deal with the mess when we come back. It's all about priorities! we are not willing to renounce to a wonderful day just because the house needs scrubbing.

In the end if the people that go to your house truly respects you and/or cares about you in some degree, they're going to be perfectly fine with the way your place looks. If on the other hand they don't like you that much, then they're probably going to despise your place or they're always going to find the one thing that is not up to their standards.

It doesn't matter if you actually bother cleaning for them, they're never going to be fully satisfied.

So... why bother at all! ;0)

In this house we clean so we can have a hygienic environment and so we have the necessary space to be creative, to be able to make a different kind of mess, to have a spontaneous dance party, to start a yoga session or whatever it is that we want to do.

Life can be rough, going out in the world sometimes requires a lot of patience, some days can be tiring, sad, maybe you crashed your car, maybe you got mugged, maybe you just had a tough day with clients or whatever it is that you do for a living. We all have bad days.

So the one thing we desperately need is to be able to find peace at the end of the day.

We all need to have a happy place, where we can finally relax, a place where you are fully accepted and loved. A place where you can breathe, take your shoes off and put on your comfy pants and laugh and be merry.

I believe we deserve to be happy and free, we need to take care of our bodies and our minds. Therefore we need to design our lives in a way that suits us. We can't live our lives to please others. That would be a terrible waste.

So, my advise to you is to dance, sing and fully enjoy your space. If you live alone or if you have a family, try to make them smile, be spontaneous, try to make any trivial thing a fun and memorable moment. Life is too short to be boring.

“What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.” —Unknown

I hope you have a great day! :0)