The disease of Small Talk

Updated: Feb 15, 2019

Small talk should stay that way, small. But more often than not you end up meeting people who all they do is small talk. They live their whole lives in small talk. I find this terrifying!

There are so many interesting subjects to talk about, you would think we would never run out of topics.

You would think that small talk should be just for specific occasions like, for example, when you bump into someone in front of the grocery store or when you find someone you know in the elevator.

For those type of situations I find it perfectly understandable to have a small talk because there is no time for more.

We are all busy, our days are full.

“I withdraw from people and places from time to time, I need space from a world that is filled with millions of mouths that talk too much but never have anything to say" - Kaitlin Foster

The problem starts when you actually make a plan to meet someone for coffee or when two or more people are supposed to make time to talk and eat and all you get is small talk.

And I really don't understand why?, what's the point? time is precious, so why waste it on small talk? Oh I know what you're thinking... why don't YOU start an actual conversation instead of just complaining, ahaha! that's the trick, you may try to start an actual conversation but somehow the people you're with revert it back to small talk.

I think some people is actually afraid to have real conversations, or they find it boring maybe? some people actually make fun of other people when they are trying to have a deeper conversation.

Why is this? are we living in a society where we are too tired or the apathy is so gigantic that we don't want to truly engage anymore?

Some families live this way, all they do is to talk about gossip, talk about the weather, talk about things that should only be left for small talk. How are you going to truly get to know each other if you don't dig deeper? not because you're family that means you automatically know each other. When you become a mom you have this beautiful mini human and every day you discover his/her personality, you discover who they are.

Not because they're your kids that means they're going to be like you, they have their own likes, dislikes, their own ways. So part of being a parent in my opinion is to get to know them, to discover and to support their personalities.

The point is, before I start digressing, my theory is that this small talk disease starts in childhood. If we don't learn to have real deep conversations with our own immediate family then how are we going to do it? How can we expect our kids to have good relationships if we don't exercise the power of communication at home? How can we expect them to come to us when they're in trouble if we haven't opened that door for them? How can we prevent some bad experiences that could probably be avoided completely by having real deep family conversations?

I truly believe in the power of real communication. A family that truly communicates stays together. The problem sometimes is that some parents tend to underestimate kids, they think they're too young or too silly to understand big ideas. I find this atrocious.

If you want your kid to have a big vocabulary then you have to use complicated concepts and uncommon words with them.

They will eventually learn them and then they will be much more eloquent.

Mastering the power of conversation can open many doors in our lives. Our kids probably will have better jobs or their own company, they will have much better chances of having stable healthy relationships, etc.

That is why I call this a disease, because it can dramatically change our lives.

Also, having conversations about as many things as possible is an amazing brain exercise.

It keeps us alert of what's going on around us, keeps us curious, our minds start to expand into new territories.

Probably we as parents can end up inspiring their future careers by talking about different interesting subjects. We as parents need to engage their minds and make them exercise, and if we do that we would exercise our own minds as well. It's a win - win.

We need to start doing this as soon as possible, I've already had interesting conversations with my 6 year old daughter, and the more she grows the bigger the conversations will be. I'm making this into a fun bonding habit that she actually (believe it or not), enjoys quite a bit.

Maybe it's also all the distractions, I keep telling some people to avoid being so concerned about what the media says about how wide your ankles have to be and all the silly challenges like the one where you put a sheet of paper vertically in front of your waist to see if it's the same size, etc. All these things are GARBAGE! and they are taking precious time from your lives and everybody's lives because instead of focusing on important stuff we are drowning in nothingness.

Probably some people that is drowning in that shallow stuff could actually be interesting but chances are we are never going to know because they're too busy trying to look like a celebrity or filling their brains with all sorts of irrelevant crap.

Life is too short to be lazy, I believe we all have talents and they need to be exploited.

And you never know, probably all we need is to have a particular, very engaging, highly deep and amazing conversation to find out more about us, to find out our true passion, to find out the inspiration we need. Conversations can spark wonders. But we're never going to know until we do it.

I really like the movies of Before Sunrise and Before Sunset because they are very good examples of real conversations. Finally movies where it actually makes sense that those two fell in love. Unlike tons of other movies where they magically fall in love after just briefly talking or seeing each other.

Mostly the message of shallow movies is that if you are a pretty woman you can get a man to "fall in love" with you quickly or if a man is attractive, (and sometimes the man doesn't even have to be attractive in these movies), and with money he can marry the "girl of his dreams". They are ridiculous.

Again, that's why I find it to be a disease, the fact that is not a normal thing to have deep conversations. If it was a usual thing then you would see more movies like Before Sunrise or Before Sunset. That's what would make people think... oh yes, that's why they fell in love obviously. People engaging on a deeper level, that makes total sense.

The wonderful thing is that I married a man that is deep, highly intelligent and insanely interesting, so at least I have amazing conversations at home. :0)

#powerofcommunication #inspiration